It’s kind of difficult to get happy today with the news coming out of Las Vegas. I’m so saddened by the reports of all the victims of the mass shooting and those who are injured. Prayers go to all of those who have been affected by this horrible, senseless, and heinous tragedy.
However, FROCKTOBER must carry on, because we are doing some good here by raising awareness for ovarian cancer. As I mentioned yesterday, my colleague and stylish lady friend, Chris Noya, has been battling this disease since January. If you wish to donate, you can do so by giving to the American Cancer Society or to the National Ovarian Cancer Coalition (click the organization names to go to the sites). Much research is being done to try to end this disease.
If you follow me on Instagram, you know I post a lot of pics of me in my work and casual clothes, the bargains and designer stuff, as well as the cheaper fashions simply because I have a #loveoffashion and am a #fashionenthusiast. (I use those hashtags all the time when posting on Instagram.)
While my side job of being an independent author drives me, and I spend a lot of time writing and promoting books, I do consider it a second JOB. However, my love of fashion is just a side PASSION and HOBBY. I do it for enjoyment and amusement, for me, and I like to share it with you, because honestly, it is just meant to be FUN, damn it!
I used to believe that life was going to end when I turned 40, and that I wouldn’t be able to wear some of the fashions and trends once I “hit that age.” Now I’m over 50, and I just don’t give a rat’s ass. I wear what I want, in good taste, but I still have fun with it. I may even have MORE FUN with it now. As I’m quite familiar with my body type, frame, and deficit in height, I have to choose my fashions carefully; some things work and some don’t. But I can still play the game of style and incorporate the trends that best suit me.
One of my current students, Taylor, read my blog and took note of my love of clothes and passion for fashion. She shared a site with me that she follows, and I became even more motivated. It’s called ADVANCED STYLE, and it’s for women “of a certain age” and how they still have fun with fashion. Honestly, I was quite inspired by it.
The truth of the matter is this: there is no age limit for having fun with fashion. It’s ageless and timeless.
In the meantime, if you share my love of clothing, style, and an enjoyment of fashion, I’m going to continue to post about it, so feel free to follow along and share with me what you’re wearing these days. And also feel free to connect with me on Instagram. I’ll follow you back and see what clothes make you feel good about yourself.
I won’t deny that I get pretty excited talking about my passions.
And you should, too.
So much of what we do on a daily basis are chores and errands and monotonous stuff we have to do to live a good life, like pay bills, clean the garage, make dinner every night, organize the office, or serve as a carpool driver, just to name a few.
Yes, we do these things. We have to do them. They are called responsibilities.
We can’t ignore our responsibilities, but we also can’t ignore our passions.
Recently, a friend of mine asked me how I do it. She said, “I don’t understand how you accomplish all you do…you teach, write novels and textbooks, have a family, get involved in the community…how do you find the time for it all?”
My friends, the truth is, I don’t FIND time for it all, I MAKE time for it all.
We cannot ignore what makes us tick…makes us feel alive…makes us feel, well, complete. I explained to my friend that she does the same thing. She runs, swims, participates in distance runs and marathons.
“How do you find time to do all that training?” I asked her. “Just the same way that you carve out time to train for your athletic endeavors, I find time to write or play with fashion.”
When we are passionate about things, as I explained to my students yesterday in feature writing, we absolutely must find time for them, whether that’s hanging out with friends, going to see a movie, playing a round of golf, going on vacation, writing a novel, running a 5K, doing charitable work, listening to or playing music, kayaking on the river, or hiking a favorite trail.
Passion drives us.
If you follow me on Instagram or on my Facebook page, you see that I post a lot of fashion pictures. I’m not a fashion blogger, but I do blog about fashion. I love it. I always have. Just ask my mother, who, when I was little and we would go to New Jersey to visit our family, would take me with my Christmas money to Willowbrook Mall to shop my brains out with my grandmother. How patient they both were to let me shop until or I dropped or my money ran out. My short stint as a fashion consultant ten years ago was so much fun and allowed me to get out of the house and meet people and help them build wardrobes before I became a full-time professor.
Even though I’m no longer a fashion consultant, it’s still a passion. I love clothes like some people love football or going to the theatre. And I have fun with it.
It’s just meant to be fun.
So today, I want you to do something for me (and for yourself). I want you to think about your passions and why you’re not doing them. I want you to carve out some time for YOU to do what YOU LOVE.
Make a promise to yourself that the things that make you tick matter.
And, if you are already pursuing your passions, good for you! I’m so proud of you. Keep at it. 🙂
Sometimes going out to brunch can be a very formal occasion. Other times, it’s a casual affair. When sitting by the water having Sunday coffee and a scrumptious meal, an outfit like this is just perfect. There’s no need to overdress; white pants and a cute top, a little bag, some gold hoops, and some sunnies are all you need.
Looking to update your wardrobe and create that classic look that lasts? Buy some pieces that have the ability to enhance your wardrobe and extend it. Start with these five piece, and you’re on your way to creating a wardrobe that can expand easily. By adding solid pants and skirts, a simple LBD, solid colored tops, sweaters, and a variety of shoes, you’ll use this suggestion as your starting point and go from there. Starting with some basics will inspire you to look for more pieces that can go beyond just one season. Here are my picks for starting that Audrey Hepburn-inspired wardrobe for our times.
Well, it depends where you’re going. There are so many different things to do on your night out, and your outfit should reflect what you might do and what makes you feel pretty and comfortable. Today’s Wednesday Wardrobe features different scenarios for different date nights.
An Early Evening Strolling the Town
I love early evening, but since the sun stays out for a while in the summers, a hat and sunglasses may be needed. This little lightweight dress is from Xhilaration. Shoes by Indigo. It’s light and breezy and keeps me cool in the summer heat. It also doesn’t wrinkle. Bonus!
On a cooler summer evening, you might want to throw on some jeans and a cute top for a night listening to music. Jeans and top from White House Black Market. Cranberry booties from Sonoma.
Dinner Under the Stars
Get ready for that great night having dinner under the stars. For a romantic night out, you may want to opt for a pretty black dress–this one’s by Robbie Bee from Nordstrom–and some black heels–these from Adrienne Vittadini.
Meeting friends for a double date for cocktails? This Society Amuse dress is fluttery and feminine. Got it in a boutique in Charleston on vacation.
Second Installment: Wednesday Wardrobe | Summer Feature
Honestly, I love summer until the humidity cranks up and my hair gets all frizzy and I perspire and stick to chairs. I remember loving the lack of humidity in California and wishing we had less of it on the East Coast. When I plan outfits, I have to consider how I might perspire and what might keep me cool.
Picking what to wear based on the weather is a must for me. I always do it. Whether I choose sleeveless, strapless, dresses, skirts, or light pants or shorts, I’m always concerned about the heat, and so I have to purchase clothes that work accordingly.
Today’s outfits are based on just that—keeping cool. What do you wear during the summer months to stay cool? How do you pick outfits to reflect the heat of the summer?
Remember: I’m a real girl with a real budget for clothing…so here are some of my picks.
Let the air flow through this dress…from Target. Shoes by Nine West.
On Saturday night at an Orioles Reunion at Camden Yards in Baltimore a collection of former Orioles front office employees and full-time friends got together (and had a ball). My friend, Michelle, mentioned how much she loved the “Frocktober” fashion thing I did last October. She said she enjoyed it — and so did I. Her comment inspired me and got me thinking that while there are lots and lots of gorgeous photos of women on Instagram in gorgeous clothing, I’m a real girl. I’m not a model, nor will I ever be one. I’m middle-aged, not skinny, and I’ve got curves, but I do possess one thing that I’ve learned over the years as a fashion consultant: I know how to dress my body type. I also love to stay current with fashion and have fun with it.
Which leads me to this: I’ve decided revamp my blog a little and include a weekly fashion segment for REGULAR WOMEN. You know, keep it real (and with a budget in mind). I’ll be sharing what I wear on Instagram and where I bought the items, and then I’ll do a weekly recap on WEDNESDAYS here on the blog.
As for more restructuring on Steph’s Scribe, on MONDAYS it will be like POTPOURRI, and I will get to write about whatever I want; on FRIDAYS, I’ll continue to feature FICTION FRIDAY and write about all things pertaining to writing.
My husband always tells me that my blog is too vague, that it doesn’t have a set niche. Well, now I’ve got one. I’m structured (he’ll love that, as I tend to be a bit of a creative type and not be too structured).
Fashion, to me, is creative–sort of like writing your own book every day. You get to pick out what you want to wear and make it yours. It’s an outward expression of yourself. The only rules are that (1) you should love the pieces you buy, and (2) you should feel good in them.
That’s it. That’s the blog restructuring for the summer. I hope you will enjoy my new setup.
A couple of years ago, I came across an article in Bazaar Magazine written by Matilda Kahl, an art director for a leading advertising agency located in New York. This article fascinated me for several reasons: (1) because, like her, I consider myself a creative type, (2) because I love fashion and am always trying to figure out ways to build a more successful and professional wardrobe, and (3) because for a short stint, I was a fashion consultant. After reading Matilda’s article about why she decided to establish her own “work uniform,” I was intrigued, and I’ve shared this with every section of my Internship Preparation class each semester. As you can imagine, some lively discussions ensued.
The premise of Matilda’s decision to build a black and white work uniform is based in logic and created for simplicity. By taking the “creativity” out of selecting and creating a fashionable and unique outfit each day for work, Matilda puts that energy to work for her incredibly creative job. Her black and white uniform consists of black bottoms and white or cream-colored tops; she accessorizes with scarves or bows. Additionally, she said she did not skimp on the quality of her clothes; she bought designer clothing and expensive tops and bottoms that she cares for, but the overall idea was that she never has to worry if anything matches or doesn’t work. The simplicity of the way she dresses is always in style.
Look—let’s be real—I don’t know how many of us (a) WANT to do this, or (b) WOULD ENJOY doing this and not get BORED, but it certainly is food for thought. It takes away a lot of stress in the morning when one is rushing out the door for work. And, it does allow room for creative energy to be used elsewhere.
I’ve looked at my own closet—it’s filled with black, that’s for sure. I could surely buy more white tops and make this happen.
Will I? I don’t know. But it sure is an enticing thought.
One day, as our family gathered on my parents’ back porch in the summer, he dared to jokingly say something about my thunder thighs. He didn’t mean any harm by it; he was only lovingly teasing me.
But I’d heard about it enough in high school, especially as a cheerleader who had to wear a cheer outfit to school twice a week, and those old wounds hadn’t mended. I suppose even in my early 30s, I was still sensitive when hearing my legs referred to in that way.
I leveled him.
Of course, I’m sorry for it now. I should have been able to laugh it off, make fun of myself, and just accept that I have pretty strong, muscular legs. I always have. I played tennis, did gymnastics, and cheered.
Fast forward to now, many, many years later.
With age comes wisdom. I am older, wiser, and more confident now, even if I still wish I had been born with long legs and was 5’5″ instead of 5’1″. When you hit a certain number as you age, you just don’t give a $$$$ any more what anyone thinks; you become less self-conscious, and you wear what makes you happy.
I like fashion a lot, enjoy clothes and putting outfits together, and being trendy. I bought the outfit above yesterday, and I can’t wait to wear it, big legs and all.
You get smarter. You accept yourself, and you learn to love yourself and all your imperfections.
And if ever once upon a time you called me “thunder thighs,” I forgive you.
When I used to work as a fashion consultant, one of the biggest rules I preached was to ignore trends—to not get sucked into a fad just because it was hot, especially if it didn’t work for your body type. But that rule becomes rather difficult to adhere to when fashion changes and certain styles of clothing become appealing. For example, the straight-legged jean was something I thought I would avoid at all costs because of its tendency to make hips look larger than they are, especially for those of us who have undeniable curves. I look better in a boot cut jean that is fitted properly. All my years of hoping that the straight-legged jean would not come back in fashion was wasted, as it (a) became fashionable and trendy, and (2) because I ditched my own advice and now wear them, curves and all. The trick is to outsmart the straight-legged jean and find some balance with it…in order to keep your body in check and in proportion. I tend to wear mind tucked into tall boots, or with the right style of shoe.
I think we tend to believe that as we age, we have to let go of some trends simply because we are aging. There is definitely some truth to that. However, there is also truth in this statement: it’s your life—wear whatever the hell you want if it makes you feel good about yourself. When I go into Anthropologie, I know I’m not going to be able to sport all the different kinds of clothes that are in there, but I LOVE that store, so I search for pieces that will suit me now, at my age, in order to remain trendy and stylish. I’m not trying to dress like my students, mind you (I couldn’t pull that off), but there are certainly some things I still have the gumption to try and wear. I do like to stay current.
Nevertheless, the true trick to dressing well after a certain age it to always consider proportion of the clothing. Just as you must consider proportion when you are decorating your home, the same holds true when decorating your own body. It’s all about proportion.
Colors also play a huge factor in how clothing looks on you. Be sure to know if you are better in warmer tones (earthy tones such as browns, beiges, greens, yellows, oranges, etc.) or in cooler tones (often referred to as jewel tones, such as emerald green, sapphire blue, true red, black, and deep purple). If you are a cooler-toned person, you may not want to wear severe colors around your face, or, if you are a cooler-toned person and you love orange, you can wear it, but it would probably be best served on your lower half. The color of your hair, skin tone, and eyes play into what colors generally look best on you.
But all that is just a bunch of hogwash unless you feel good in the clothes you wear. If you need help finding out what is best for you, hire a consultant to take you shopping and do your colors. Once you learn what works best both proportionally and color-wise, you’ll never wonder again.
That’s not to say we don’t break the rules now and then. We all do. But you’ll find confidence and stay fashionable all your life if you remember this one thing:
Style is truly what you make of it; it’s about how you wear the pieces you choose, not the pieces themselves.
Several people have come up to me recently and told me they enjoyed the #FROCKTOBER feature I posted over the course of the month. A few others have told me I inspired their style. These kind of comments thrill me–I am so glad I could inspire you or give you some ideas for your own style.
But here’s the thing: you are you—you are not me, I am not someone else, and so on—and so we should let our own personalities shape our own fashion. We should experiment and have fun with it. I remember reading a piece about “Things Not to Wear After 40” and the bottom line was that you should wear whatever the hell you want. If you want to try some new trends, purchase a new type of shoe, add some bling to your accessories and handbags, I say GO FOR IT. You only live once. Why live vicariously through someone else when you can do it for yourself?
Fashion comes and goes, but style is how you make it your own. I’m not going to be posting fashion as a regular blog item, but I will keep my eyes on fashion and post as I have in the past about interesting things that come along. And who knows…maybe I’ll give #FROCKTOBER another try next year.
In the meantime, I’ve got a novel to finish.
Below are the outfits I wore for the rest of the last week of #FROCKTOBER. I post on Instagram a lot more than I do here on the blog or on Facebook, so if you want to follow along on my next journey, you can find me on Instagram @stephverni.