The Top Ten Things A Cunning Turkey Would Say To Escape His Obligation

As we count down to Thanksgiving, here are our ideas for what a cunning turkey would say to weasel his way out of his Thanksgiving obligation.

Special thanks to my friend, Jenny, for the assistance with this silly blog post.

My son can’t bear to think of the turkey’s supreme sacrifice…

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10. “Don’t look at me! I’m not the one who consistently wakes up everyone at the crack of dawn!”

9. “I’m not a turkey; I’m a chicken.”

8. “There a strange glaze in your eyes when you hold that knife…sort of like Norman Bates in ‘Psycho.'”

7. “Look! Quick! Over there! It’s Santa Claus!”

6. “I’m not a turkey; I’m a pig.”

5. “You really should look at this more closely; there are actually a great many benefits to becoming a vegetarian.”

4. “Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape from the claws of axe murderers like you, I presume.”

3. “Honestly, have you looked at yourself lately? Eating should probably not be one of your top priorities this holiday season.”

2. “I’m not a turkey; I’m a dog.”

1. “Is that a hatchet in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”

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