A Mother’s List: The Top Ten Things I Wish Would Never Come Out of My Mouth Again

Not every day is blissful in the Land of Motherhood.

As mothers, the reality is, we make these statements, or statements like them ADL (all day long). I’ll count down some of my favorites to number one in David Letterman style.

Poe (left) and Holly (right): Our Neglected Pets

Number 10: Who left their retainer on the bathroom floor?

Number 9: Those birds are going to be given away to a loving family unless someone cleans their cage!

Number 8: Homework is meant to be done, not admired from afar.

Number 7: I don’t care if it’s called goulash; it’s what I made for dinner, so eat it!

Number 6: Did you guys wash your private parts? Wait, let me ask that again…Did you wash your private parts well?

Number 5: Who clogged the toilet with half a roll of toilet paper?

Number 4: If you have to “toot,” please remove yourself from the kitchen table.

Number 3: If I have to say it again, I’m going to lose my mind.

Number 2: Five, four, three, two…

Number 1: That’s it. I’ve officially gone insane.

6 thoughts on “A Mother’s List: The Top Ten Things I Wish Would Never Come Out of My Mouth Again

  1. Was there a little bird in my house when you made up this list. Many of these I say on a daily basis but with some substitute words….Oh the joys of mothering.

  2. There is a consensus at our house that, if we were the kids, we would be mortified that you posted number 6. My personal list has shorter phrases… Stop, Knock it off, do you remember ANYTHING?, If you do that again… Be Quiet!, Must you ALWAYS argue?, Please behave, Thank God I only have 7 more years before you turn rational again, UGH., and my personal favorite… If you keep it up, one of us is not going to make it to your eighteenth birthday, wanna place a bet on which one?

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